My Mind is a Weird Place
by RedneckGeek
Summary: Just a collection of drabbles and one shots that may or may not be related to my other stories.
1. Chapter 1 It Lingers

**A/N I'm sticking with Shane Brennan interview: "It will be a bumpy ride for Densi fans and they'll hate me at points but in the end they'll love it. I don't usually do drabbles, but this one came to me after "Spoils of War" and I really seem do anything else with it.**

**Disclaimer: Nothing in the bank account, so I don't own anything from NCIS LA**

They were still there. Maybe not as powerful or as frequent but they were still there. Even twenty years later, the nightmares would still strike. In the stillness of the night, dreams would change into something where their personal demons would chortle and screech; while their personal angel would gently weep at the agony inflicted on the other. What each had suffered at the hands of _things _that call themselves humans was not easily forgotten nor healed. What they themselves were forced to do in the name of the other was haunting and guilt laden. The betrayal of a trusted maternal figure still caused heartache to this day. Screams would shatter the night, while sheets soaked with tears and sweat were stained beyond repair. The road to where they were at now was long and rough. One would push the other away, trying desperately to cause no more harm to the other that meant so much to them. Just as one would dig in their heels and slowly chip away at the walls the other built for protection. At the deepest darkest moments of despair, a shining light would burn through, and the demons would retreat to their holes. For it was a Love Story and they refused to let be anything but.

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	2. Chapter 2 Phone Calls

**A/N Ok so maybe not all the stuff posted here will be based on "**_**Poker Face Failure." **_**My take on Deeks answering the wrong phone. **

**Disclaimer: Nothing in the bank account, so I don't own anything from NCIS LA**

Trying to keep from waking up Kens up, I reached over and grabbed the phone that was ringing. "Go for Deeks." I grumbled.

There was lengthy pause on the other end. "Deeks? Why are you answering Kensi's cell at 04:30?" Callen sounded grim, like a big brother ready to do harm to some guy who was with his little sister.

I went into panic mode. "Um, we uhhhh we must have….. switched phones accidently. At work. Yeah it happened while we were on that stakeout. It's not like she here lying in bed with me. I mean she's not laying bed with me and if she was she certainly wouldn't be naked." I just groaned. I should have quit while I was ahead.

"Deeks just get here to the boatshed ASAP. I'll call your phone and tell Kensi to meet us there as well." And there was an audible click as Callen hung up. I shivered at the glare I was receiving from my naked partner lying in bed with me.

*******NCIS LA*******

"Now what are you doing?" The retired Senior Chief Petty Officer questioned his partner.

"I am calling Deeks cell phone again." Callen just grinned.

"Again? You mean you just called his cell?"

"Yep." Callen just nodded.

"That's cold G. That's just cold.'

"Funny as hell though.


	3. Chapter 3 Rooftops

**A/N Prompt: Deeks with a bullhorn. **

**Disclaimer: Nothing in the bank account, so I don't own anything from NCIS LA**

Kensi picked up after the first ring. "Hey Deeks, what's up?" She sounded good, despite the fact that I told her I had something I needed to do after lunch. Kens had gone back to the mission and I was right here.

"Hey Sunshine, are you near OPs at the moment?"

"No, why?" A little bit on concern started to creep into her voice.

"I just need Eric to get the live feed from the rooftop cameras at the corner of 73rd and Holmes. Something hinky going on here and I'm hoping you can read their lips to see what is being said. I can't quite make it out." Kens hadn't gotten to use her skills as much as she used to since Eric had picked up that program. "You know what; see if Sam and Callen can join you as well. They might see something that I don't"

"Do you need back up Deeks? I can be there pretty quick."

"No, no plans for being a one man army today. They'll be gone before you can get here. Just something causing my instincts from the good ole cop days itch."

"Oh ok, I guess that makes sense. Yeah Sam and G are following me up here now. So are you done with your thing yet?"

"Almost kinda, got side tracked here a little bit. As soon I know you guys are watching I'll get right on it."

"Hey Eric, Deeks needs you to pull up the live feed from the rooftop cameras at 73rd and Holmes." I could hear other voices in the background questioning Kens about what was going on. "Any specific camera Deeks?"

"Yeah the southeast one and put it on the big screen." I smiled and waved at the specific camera as I heard a sharp intake of breath over the phone line.

"Deeks, what in the hell are you doing? And why do you have a bullhorn? You know what; I don't want to know."

"Princess, I am going to need to put the phone down for a minute, ok?" I hit the speaker button as I set the phone on the ledge beside me. I made sure the bullhorn's volume was cranked all the way up and brought it to my mouth. "HEY WORLD! I JUST WANTED TO SAY I AM THE LUCKIEST MAN ON EARTH! KENSI MARIE BLYE SAID YES! MY SUNSHINE AND GUNPOWDER SAID YES! WE'RE GETTTIINNGGG MARRIED!"

I dropped the bullhorn and grabbed my phone just in time to hear Kens growl "I hate you."

"You don't, you really don't."

"Why did you do that?"

"I wanted to shout it from the rooftops."


	4. Chapter 4 Flexible

**A/N In response to the tweets that the infamous box will be opened in episode 5x21**

**Disclaimer: Nothing in the bank account, so I don't own anything from NCIS LA**

"Damn it Deeks, I really put a lot of thought into it and you didn't even open the damn thing." Fire was raging in those mismatched eyes. "How do you think that makes me feel?"

"Kens, Fern; I didn't want you to be upset when I was disappointed, because you are wrong." This really wasn't the way I had envisioned our talk going. "Everything I have ever wanted is not in that box. While I am sure it is something I will enjoy and be grateful for, I can guarantee that what is in the box is not everything I have ever wanted."

"How can you be so sure?" The hurt was coming back, and I was damn sure not going back to where neither of us would say what we meant.

"Because unless you have really been practicing yoga and the positions of the Kama Sutra, there is absolutely no way that you can fit in the box. Especially since you're standing right here in front of me."

Much like the night I had told her at the restaurant what I really wanted, shock stood out on those beautiful features. "What?" Her voice was soft, and questioning.

"You. You are everything I have ever wanted. Nothing else matters as long as you are in my life. Don't you get it? You are my everything, and there is not a thing in this world I wouldn't do for you. I love you Kens. I don't know when, or where, but I have fallen in love with you, and these last five months have been pure hell without you. When that picture of you" Shame and guilt briefly flashed in her eyes. "came on my phone, I lost it. Nothing else mattered to me, but you. I…."

Whatever else I was going to say was lost as her lips slammed into mine. It felt like forever and yet all to brief, when the need for oxygen forced us apart. Our foreheads resting against each other she whispered "I love you Deeks. And I am so sorry for not admitting it sooner." She giggled. "But just so you know, I did have a lot of time to practice yoga and read a certain book over the last five months."

That box never did get opened, why should it? Everything I had ever wanted was right there in my arms and I wasn't letting Kensi go.


	5. Chapter 5 There Won't Be A Third Time

**A/N I'm sticking with Shane Brennan interview: "It will be a bumpy ride for Densi fans and they'll hate me at points but in the end they'll love it." This one wouldn't let me go after episode 5x21.**

**Disclaimer: Nothing in the bank account, so I don't own anything from NCIS LA**

"Ms. Blye, Mr. Deeks a moment of your time if you please?" Kensi's head snapped around at my sigh. Lately it seems that every time that Hetty wanted to talk to us, things went from bad to worse for the two of us. As we approached Hetty's desk, Kens gave me a shoulder bump, trying to bring my mood back up. "You two seem to be unhappy lately is there anything I can do?"

My mouth fell open. Did she honestly just say that? "Don't you think you've done enough?" That was out before I could even stop myself. Kens' eyes got really wide at my tone, and Hetty's face showed little as usual.

"Whatever do you mean, Mr. Deeks?" Here we go again, playing the mind games.

"Well let's see for the longest time you pushed me into believing you would support us in having something more beyond that of partners. Remember the damn note you had Kens give me? And then when we take that step, you punish Kensi for something I did by sending her off to Afghanistan, where she gets tortured and I lose myself by following in my father's footsteps. All the while not telling what I did or allowing me to fix it. Now we get back here and trying to find our way, and you use Angelo to drive another wedge between us." I really needed to get a grip on my emotions. Kens' look of shock was getting deeper and deeper.

"The strongest steel requires the hottest fire and hardest work, Mr. Deeks."

"Well Hetty you suck as a life coach. Don't quit your day job as someone who views others only as chess pieces with no emotional attachment."

"Mr. Deeks, I suggest…."

"No, Hetty. For five months you led me to believe that Kensi being in Afghanistan was my fault, my fault alone. Only to find out that you sent her over there to protect a man she once knew."

At this Kensi's eyes light with fire and she spun back towards Hetty "You knew Jack was over there? You knew all along?" The accusation in her voice could have cut steel. "You used me? Knowing exactly what seeing him would do to me?"

"Ms. Blye I was trying to help a friend…." It was a rare occurrence to see Henrietta Lange flustered, and to tell the truth I was kind of enjoying it.

"You used me, again. Again Hetty. You used me again. You used us. You used Deeks and my relationship for your own personal agenda. I could accept what happened with the whole Fisk case. But this time…" Kens sucked in a deep breath. "What it's going to be next time? If Deeks and I can ever fix what you keep screwing with and decide to have a future with each other would you use our kids? " The hope in those words right there dang near brought me to my knees. I saw Kensi pull out her badge and gun and placed them on Hetty's desk. "You have used the two of us twice now. There won't be a third time." Kens spun on her heel and stormed off most likely to clean out her desk and locker.

I pulled my Smith & Wesson from behind my back and placed it on the desk besides Kensi's gun. The NCIS badge that I carried was laid down next to the older one. "Where Kensi goes, I go. That's how we roll."

**THREE YEARS LATER**

I grabbed my cell after the first ring. I didn't recognize the number, but I did go ahead and answer it "Go for B&D Private Security, Surf Shack and Retired Police Dog Refuge Emergency Hotline."

"Mr. Deeks? I need your help." A voice I had not heard in a long time questioned.

"Sorry wrong number." Kensi looked up at me from where she sat on our couch.

"Does Ms. Blye feel the same way?" The woman was persistent I'd give her that.

"No one here by that name. Like I said, wrong number."

"Let me speak to her, please." It almost sounded like pleading, but that wasn't Henrietta Lange's style. Things must really be bad. I handed the phone to Kensi and mouthed "Hetty" to her unspoken question.

"Hello. Sorry there is no one here by that name anymore. "She paused, taking a deep breath, trying to keep the anger at bay. "It is Mrs. Deeks now and Karma is a bitch." I am surprised my phone didn't break as hard as she pushed the button to hang up on our former boss.

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	6. Chapter 6 Revelations

**A/N This one hit me after watching "Spoils of War", "Windfall" and "Three Hearts" in row. It's a little different than my usual. Warning: If you're a fan of Hetty you might not want to read this one. Otherwise, enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: Nothing in the bank account, so I don't own anything from NCIS LA, NCIS or Justified.**

"Assistant Director Granger, you can go in now." Sheila Roberts, Director Vance's secretary spoke to me for the first time since I had informed her that I had arrived per the Director's orders. I know almost everyone thinks I have only two emotions, anger and irritation. Truth be told I have several, like the nervousness I was feeling right now. Eight hours ago the Director MTACed me in LA and told me in not so many words to get my ass to DC without telling me the reason why. I left the temporary Assistant Operations Manager Jones in charge, her job performance since Henrietta's suspension had exemplary, and she was able to even handle that bunch of hotheads that made up Callen's team. I had to wonder if this meeting had anything to do with the inquiry into Henrietta's actions over the last eighteen months or so.

My nervousness racked up another point when I realized the Director wasn't alone in the room. Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs was also attending. I knew something serious was about to go down, if the Director's personal pit bull was here, but my immediate superior Deputy Director Jerome Craig was not. Gibbs was almost as big of a legend as Hetty Lange, only him what you saw is what you get. The same cannot be said about Henrietta.

"Granger, please sit down, so we can get right to business." Director Vance was never one to use more words than necessary. I sat down as he pushed a button on his desk, and his office went secure. "Ok what you about to hear is Need to Know and I had to read you in personally. There can be not records of this what so ever."

"I understand sir." Sometimes I have to wonder if all the secrets we keep is really worth it.

"Understand this, there are only four people outside of this room who know what I am about to tell you. SECNAV Porter, Hetty Lange, and Agents DiNozzo and McGee. SECNAV does not want this getting out. However we all know how things work in the real world, and you may have to deal with the consequences." Oh this was looking better and better by the moment. "As you know the official inquiry into Ms. Lange's actions has been completed. However during the course of the investigation some disturbing information came to light and SECNAV authorized a black investigation consisting of Gibbs, DiNozzo and McGee. What was discovered has sealed Henrietta Lange's fate that she will never work in the US intelligence community again. I haven't been this disturbed since Davenport and Kort started selling Operation Frankenstein out to the highest bidder."

"So what exactly am I going to have to deal with?" If I had to take Blye back to Afghanistan, I was going to quit. I was not dealing with separating those two lovesick kids again.

"You are familiar with Hetty's finding orphans and then molding them into agents?" I simply nodded, how could I not? Ever since I had to investigate Blye for murder, I had to deal with what appeared to be her favorite; one G. Callen. "Well there seems to be a lot more of them than just Sullivan, Hunter, Stevens and Callen. All of them answered to her, which means that when they try and contact her, you will have to deal with it." He paused; somehow I just knew that wasn't the worst of it. "In addition there also appears to be numerous burned individuals such as Angelo."

"I understand sir. I'll take care of it. I may finally get what I want." Something about the way Gibbs was sitting there bothered me. "Is that all, sir?"

"Unfortunately, Owen it is not. If this part ever leaks it will destroy the Office of Special Projects, if not NCIS altogether. You will have your work cut out for you if the two individuals most involved in Lange's latest enterprise ever find out what really occurred and why." I knew which two he was talking about, anybody who ever dealt with Henrietta Lange knew she had some plans in store for Blye and Deeks. The groan escaped my lips before I could stifle it. "Yes Granger she was trying to mold them into the perfect agent couple. A pair who could do what a single could not. Hetty would push the two of them together to rely on each other, but if one looked like they would choose the other over the job, she would manipulate the two, much like this White Ghost Operation. She deliberately led Deeks into believing he was at fault for Blye being sent to Afghanistan. Also there is evidence that she had her hands in their lives for long time before they joined the Office of Special Projects."

Gibbs spoke up. "You need to know this part Assistant Director. It is circumstantial, but there is evidence that Lange was in contact with Clairmont the night before Donald Blye died. As well as having contact with one Gordon John Brandel when Deeks was still Max Brandel. Even Lange's manipulation of the foster care system in the cases of Callen, Hunter, and Stevens pales compared to some of what we found." Even having a nuke detonated in Baja California didn't shock me as much as this latest revelation did. "And there were other plans for if Deeks and Blye ever had children."

"Are you fucking serious?" Swearing in front of and at the Director of a federal agency was never a good career move, but after that bombshell early retirement was sounding better and better.

"Yes." Gibbs' tone was harsh, but had the ring of truth in it.

"Please tell me Henrietta Lange is going to pay for this." I was cold, and willing to do quite a bit to get the mission done, but that was just monstrous.

"Oh yes she will. If I had my choice she would be on the first flight to Gitmo yesterday and stay there. However she still has some powerful friends in Washington. So we were able to come up with a compromise. All of her assets have been seized, and she is being placed under house arrest by the US Marshalls. Normally the FBI would be handling something like this, but if someone is looking for Lange that's where they will start. The Marshalls have a vast amount of experience in hiding people under WitSec and this time they using to hide Henrietta Lange. They are moving her to somewhere in Harlan County Kentucky. The local residents can't stand outsiders, and it so far from her previous circles she won't be able to get the support she needs. And if she tries anything with the bunch watching her, that one Marshall, Givens I think it is will just shoot her and we'll be done her for good." Director Vance was never really one to show emotion, but a look of immense satisfaction crossed his face at that last part. "All this time and I never even had a clue something like this was happening."

"Director, Mike and I were working directly with her during some of this and we never had a clue." I could tell admitting that pissed Gibbs off.

"My God." It was all I could say.

"Now you understand why you needed to fly here on such short notice, Granger. I hope you are up to the task I have laid at your feet." I was never one for sympathy, but at the moment I welcomed it from both Gibbs and Director Vance.

"I hope so too, sir."

**I have a real problem with Hetty's actions this season, and I cannot wait till the season finale for her to have to pay for her sins.**

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	7. Chapter 7 Solid Foods

**A/N Deeks trying to get his daughter to eat solid foods. **

**Disclaimer: Nothing in the bank account, so I don't own anything from NCIS LA**

"Come on Pumpkin. Please for Daddy?" The stubborn eight month sitting in the high chair was definitely her mother's daughter. Blue eyes glared at me for daring to suggest that she might like to try bananas this morning. "You liked them last time."

A snort came from behind me. "I can't believe you're arguing with someone who just started crawling. You know what I actually can believe that."

"Funny Kens. I don't remember Hope being this difficult with Bananas before." How is it I can talk down guys with guns and bombs, but I can't convince my own daughter to open her mouth to eat?

"You didn't do the choo-choo train thing again did you?" I was not going to respond to that, I was not. "Oh my God you did, didn't you? Was Daddy doing the train again Hope? We need to record it next time for your uncles Callen and Sam."

"Come on Pumpkin, just one bite please." Nothing.

"Maybe she's not hungry, Deeks you ever think of that?"

"And maybe I need to find out if Gerber makes pureed Twinkies. I bet she would eat that."

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	8. Chapter 8 You

**A/N A conversation that I can see taking place after "Three Hearts" **

**Disclaimer: Nothing in the bank account, so I don't own anything from NCIS LA**

I hadn't even raised my hand to knock, when Deeks opened the door. He knew it was me simply by Monty's antics on the other side. Even the dog could tell we were something special, that we had a thing, he didn't act this way when Sam, Callen or anybody else came over, at least that was what Deeks said. Makes me think why I have been so blind.

We had talked earlier tonight after the entire Angelo fiasco, but something else was worrying me about what Deeks had said earlier in the day at the boathouse. I am almost positive he meant he was in this for the long haul, but we needed to slow down. But it was the look in his eyes that concerned me the most. I knew Deeks better than I know myself, but I couldn't get a grasp on what was going on in his mind, and that bothered me a lot.

"Kensenlina, what's up?" I reached down to pet Monty while holding up the six pack I had brought. Deeks hadn't changed yet, his hair was disheveled, and he was smiling, in essence he looked like Deeks. But his eyes told another story. Gone was the eternal optimism and what replaced it was haunting my thoughts.

"I wanted to drink a few beers with my partner. We haven't had much of chance to chat, and I said that was going to change." I could see the war of thoughts in his clouded eyes. "You going to let me in? Or are we drinking these beers in your open doorway?"

"By all means, come on in." He stepped back to let me through the door. "I am not really up for Titanic tonight, and it's not Friday, so I don't know what we're going to watch."

I set the beers on the coffee table, grabbed two, popped the tops, and handed Deeks one of them. "Who said I wanted to watch tv?"

"Kens….." His voice was soft, but held a hint of warning, as Deeks ran his fingers through his hair.

My nerves felt like fire and ice were shooting through them. "Why don't you trust me enough to keep you from getting burned when it comes to us?" His eyes flashed and that was when I recognized what I had been seeing. Agony and self-loathing were pouring out like the biblical flood. Check that, self-hatred. "Better question, why do you not trust yourself when comes to us?"

"Kensi, please…" Deeks eyes closed as he took a deep breath to still what was in his mind. "Please Kensi, let's not do this tonight."

"I am done dancing around with metaphors when it comes to us Deeks." I get that he wanted to slow down, but I needed to figure out what was upsetting him so much, if we were ever able to cross this frozen lake. It was time for a different tactic. "It was unfair to ask you what your third heart was telling you, without telling you what mine was saying. Mine says it is you." Hope flared briefly in his face, only to quickly be replaced by caution. "I want you. I want to be with you. I want to decorate a nursery with you. I want to grow old with you."

"Kensi…." Deeks was getting desperate as tears started to pool in his eyes. I wanted nothing more than hold him and steal his pain away. But I needed to know what was causing it before I tried to fix it.

"If I understood you right tonight, you said I am your soulmate." Our verbal communication flat out sucks, but our nonverbal told me I was on the money. "So what scares you so much about getting burned by us?"

"Because it already HAPPENED!" Deeks had never raised his voice to me in all the time we had been partners.

"What?" I absolutely hated how unsure I sounded right then.

"I crossed the line when it comes to you, Kensi." Deeks looked down at his feet.

"And I haven't in the past?" My heart was tearing in two, at the sound of his voice.

"Not like this. Never like this." I reached out and grabbed his chin, and slowly tilted his face up to look me in the eyes. He sighed as I as projected everything I could think of to calm and soothe him. "When I saw that picture of you laying on the floor in that cave I lost it. I thought you were dead, Kensi." Now my heart is more than two pieces, it simply shattered. "I water boarded a man. I tortured that cleric we swapped for you. I tortured another human being Kensi. I didn't care if he talked or not. All I wanted was to cause pain and suffering on somebody, anybody. I am no different than Sidirov."

"Do not compare yourself to that butcher." That was going to stop right here and now. "You are good, decent and caring. Do you think that bastard would spend time at a shelter helping out? So you lost yourself to your dark side, because I wasn't there to pull you back. You're not the only one who has a dark side. I am trained as an assassin for Christ's sake. I was more than willing to kill somebody just so I could come home."

"I should have never have tried to escape my past. Just stayed Max Brandel, and realized I was my father's son."

"Don't say that. Please don't say that. Don't you realize how much better I am because you are in my life? You kept me from killing Clairmont. You helped me with getting back with my Mom." I took a deep breath trying to still my racing thoughts. "We made each other a lot of promises in the past. Well I am making another one right here right now. I will be there to keep this from happening ever again."

"How can you do that when we might get separated again?"

"And how is that any different than making you promise not to die on me?"

"Touché." The beginning of a smile was quickly replaced. "How can you forgive me? When I can't even forgive myself?"

"Because I learned from the best. You. If the situation was reversed, it is what you would do."

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	9. Chapter 9 Unhappy

**A/N Pure speculation on Episode 5x24 "Deep Trouble Pt. 1" the season finale**

**Disclaimer: Nothing in the bank account, so I don't own anything from NCIS LA**

Monty's ears perked up, but he didn't move from beneath the coffee table where he lay when we both heard the key in the door. I don't think Kensi has knocked once since I gave her a key to my apartment. I didn't bother to look up as the door opened, just continued the task of cleaning Max's Glock and back up.

"I didn't know you had that many pistols." Only Kensi would use firearms for as an attempt to make small talk.

"Like I said, I am method. Using a single manufacturer of pistols for all my undercover aliases is kind of dumb. I mean there is only so much I can do with my appearance without cutting the hair." Taking a deep breath, I tried to clamp down on the snark that was threatening to burst. I really didn't want to fight. "All of Monty's stuff is ready to go. I really appreciate you watching him for me."

Even plopping down on the couch, my partner slash whatever the hell we were was extremely graceful. "I am not happy."

"Ditto."

"I mean I am really not happy."

"Geez, Kens I kind of figured it out when you cold cocked Talia. I am a detective after all." Well so much for controlling my snark.

"You don't think I have a right to be? You are my partner after all."

"Do you honestly think I want this assignment? I do have to channel good ole Max for this OP." It never, ever goes well for Kens and me when Max Gentry has to come out and play.

"You're going to Mexico, with this Talia and Angelo, Deeks. And I can't be there to watch your back. When we get split up bad things happen to us, and I am tired of you ending up with the lion's share of bad things landing on your shoulders." Well Kensi did promise to work on her communication.

"Yeah, and I am tired too." I finished the assembling the Glock 19 that I would be carrying as my primary sidearm, and went to work on the back up of Max's choice. "I am just tired of being treated differently from the rest of the team when it comes to emotions. I let my emotions get out of control, and you get sent off Afghanistan and I am led to believe it was all my fault for five months."

"That is part of the reason I am not trusting Hetty's choices right now." Can't really blame Kensi for that one, after all had Hetty simply informed her of the mission from the beginning, Kensi wouldn't have been tortured and I wouldn't have condemned my soul to a very warm afterlife. "I mean, I can get Talia from a professional stand point." I snorted. "Fine, I am jealous, she does have the hots for you."

"Pretty sure you marked your territory there Princess when you decked her in the boathouse. And I did tell you that I believe raccoons mate for life." Why the hell couldn't we just say what the hell we meant? Actually Kensi was doing a better job at communicating, where as I was backsliding seriously.

"Compare me to a raccoon again, I'll deck you. And I did apologize when she woke up."

"But it's Angelo I don't get. What purpose does he serve? All he is going to do is screw with you head some more. And with you having to be Max, it's going to be easier for him. And I won't be there to help you."

"Granger did say I could put a bullet in his head and leave him in Mexico." Unfortunately I am pretty sure Angelo didn't believe I was capable of that. Boy would he be surprised if Kensi was in trouble again and he was in my way.

"You couldn't do that. You are better than that."

"I like to think I have some morals left." That was true.

Kensi reached over and took the Baby Glock from hands and placed on the coffee table. Grabbing my chin she gently turned my head until I was looking into her mismatched eyes "I am scared that all the progress we have made over the last couple of weeks, as slow as it has been is going away because of Hetty's decision. I know you will come back alive, you promised. But where will we be at the end?"

"Well, I am almost positive that I am going to need a shower. You can join me so we can be eco-friendly together."

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	10. Chapter 10 Switched Roles

**A/N For Bamie02, who told me that I should write this one.**

**Disclaimer: Nothing in the bank account, so I don't own anything from NCIS LA**

"Excuse me?" There was absolutely no way I heard that question correctly. That pistol going off next to my head early today must have knocked my hearing out of whack. I barely refrained from sticking my finger in my ear to clean it, when I saw that both Sam and Callen were shocked as well. Actually I am not sure shocked is the word for the expressions on their faces. Both of them are highly trained federal agents with vast amounts of undercover experience and if what their facial expressions were showing, then no amount of training can really cover all bases.

Looking into the mismatched eyes of my partner, girlfriend, roommate, and who I believed to be my soulmate, I realized Kens was completely serious and that I must have heard the question correctly. But right here in the bullpen? In front of Callen and Sam? That might be the thing that shocked me the most. Yes things were going good between us. If one good thing came out of the whole White Ghost, it was that Kensi had finally found closure over being left by one Jack Simon on Christmas morning. Once she came back, and Hetty stopped playing mind games with us, she threw herself wholeheartedly into our thing, and waited patiently for me to get over the fears that had cropped up both during and immediately after her little vacation to the other side of the world. But this? I can honestly say I didn't see this one coming.

"You heard me." Kens was actually being serious, though I knew she would never joke about this subject. "You know what? Forget I asked." She started to turn on her heel, and storm off. I knew no amount of donuts or Twinkies would ever fix this, if I didn't do something right now.

"Fern, Princess, Kensi wait." I was out of my chair and around my desk and grabbing her arm in a heartbeat. "You just surprised me is all. I thought I must have misunderstood."

"Really? I thought I was quite clear in my speech." Her eyes showed fear, trepidation, hope and longing.

"Yes you were. But here in the bullpen? I just was never expecting something like that." That was true, but one of the things that I love about Kensi was that she kept me on my toes, so I should be used to it by now. "Why now?"

"We almost died today." That was true; it was part of the job. But in closing the case from today, we were ambushed, and during the struggle the one suspect had managed to get a shot off that came close to going through both my head and Kensi's. It was one of the closest near death experiences for both of us in a long time. After the adrenaline had worn off, we just held each other in the parking lot, and for once our older brothers weren't complete asses about it. "I am just done living with regrets of what could have been. Besides you haven't asked me, and I don't know if you are ever going to ask me."

"I haven't asked you because I don't want to bring up bad memories or hurt you." That was true; I would suffer myself to keep Kensi happy. If something I did caused her pain it would just about kill me.

"Deeks." It was flat and impatient. Kensi was done with my deflecting. "Did you ever think that this might be causing me pain right now?" That statement sent my emotions whirling about.

"Then ask me again." This wasn't quite the way I had envisioned this conversation going, but I am a master at improvisation.

"I hate you." The sparkle in her eyes and the grin on her face told me that was a lie.

"You don't. You really don't" I couldn't help grinning back at her, the feeling of déjà vu was overwhelming, only this time I was sure she wasn't getting sent off half way around the world before I laid eyes on her again.

"Marry me?" For once there was no metaphors, no boxes, nothing but the honest sincerity in the words Kensi spoke. "Tonight? In Vegas?"

I grabbed her shoulders and yanked Kensi to me. I kissed her, just like I had on the hillside so long ago. "How's that for an answer?"

Kens rested her forehead against mine. "I do like that form of communication." She came in for another kiss. "But I would like to actually hear what you mean."

"Yes Kensilina, I would be honored to become Mr. Fern Blye." I felt her trying to hold back the laughter.

"You're an idiot you know that right?"

"Yeah, an idiot in love."

"I think Hetty has a rule about PDA in the office." Of course Callen had to go there.

"Leave them alone G. This is a special moment for the two of them." Sam just looked at this partner. "Though I thought it was conventional for the guy to ask the girl."

"When have we ever been conventional Sam?" Kens was happy, as happy as I have ever seen her.

"Does this mean Deeks is going to be wearing the engagement ring?" Apparently Sam couldn't risk not going there as well. I didn't give a damn about being teased, because despite years of scientific research raccoons do mate for life.

**This one hit me after the "New" Kensi we are seeing in the show. I did a search, but didn't find anything where Kensi asks Deeks to marry her, and Bamie02 said I should write it. So I did. **

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	11. Chapter 11 Switched Roles Continued

**A/N: A continuation of the previous chapter because someone put the idea of a sequel in my head. So this one again is for Bamie02**

**Disclaimer: Nothing in the bank account, so I don't own anything from NCIS LA**

Nell and Eric were coming down the stairs from OPs just in time to catch Sam teasing me. Both had curiosity written all over their faces. "Wait a minute, do we have a case?" Even after being partnered with her, it still amazes me how much energy that little pixie version of Velma has. "Why is Deeks wearing a ring?"

"Apparently Agent Blye and her detective are taking an impromptu trip to Vegas tonight." Granger's gravel crushing voice answered Nell's question as he entered the bullpen from the front hallway. There was a gleam of approval in his eyes, but there was something more, humor maybe? "However Dectective as the one who knew Donald Blye the best, you really should have asked for my permission."

"I don't often agree with the Assistant Director there Deeks, but the man has a point." Apparently Callen was going to run with the opening Granger had set up. "We are her older brothers. You should have asked us as well for her hand in marriage. Do we need to have another talk?" In all honesty there had been no need for Sam and Callen to have a talk with me about hurting Kensi, but as dysfunctional as our family is, sometimes we do try and inject some normalcy into our hectic lives.

"But…. But…. But she asked me." Of course I would start rambling. I knew the teasing was coming, but it still made me flustered.

"Doesn't matter Shaggy, you are the man in the relationship." And now Sam just had to join. "Who's wearing the pants in this thing?"

"Sam when was the last time you saw Kensi wearing anything but pants outside of a mission?" I knew the answer, but since our dates are just the two of us I wasn't going to spoil it.

"Really?" Nell directed the question at Kens. Kens just nodded her head, with a smile that had to be hurting her face. It wasn't the one that was reserved solely for me, but it definitely was one that doesn't get seen a lot. "I told you he would say yes." Nell almost screamed as she tackled Kens into a hug. She spun around as soon as she let Kens go, and wrapped me up as well. "I am so happy for the two of you. You deserve it."

Eric just stood there looking confused, pretty standard for anything when it came to social and personal interactions. "What are you guys talking about?"

"Deeks and I getting married tonight." Realization dawned on his face. I'm surprised he didn't Google what a trip to Vegas meant.

"Congratulations guys." He pulled Kensi into hug and then proceeded to shake my hand.

"Congratulations are indeed in order." And yes once again I jumped as Hetty walked up from behind me. "Ms. Blye, Mr. Deeks you two have reservations at the Mon Bel Ami Wedding Chapel at 10:45 pm tonight. I suggest you two get a move on. Your bags are packed and in the SRX." Now that from Hetty I was actually expecting.

Callen shook my hand, before embracing Kens. "Go on get out of here. We'll see you later."

Luckily Granger didn't try to hug Kens; it was definitely awkward just getting congratulations from the man. Sam however pulled me into a bro hug. "You two are the best things to ever happen to each other Shaggy." Though I was scared that Kens's ribs might crack when she accepted Sam's embrace.

Grabbing my hand to lead me outside, my bride to be led the way to the next chapter of our love story. I paused, there was a ring, and I just never got the courage up to ask Kensi. I walked back to my desk, and grabbed the box from my bottom drawer where it sat beneath the file that Hetty had given me so long ago. I would find a necklace to wear it with. It was sized for Kensi and it sure wouldn't fit around my finger.

"Wait a minute, aren't we going?" Eric's lack of social grace was endearing at times.

"But of course Mr. Beale. We have a road trip. But let those two travel alone. Mr. Hanna I suggest you call your wife."

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	12. Chapter 12 Apology Accepted

**A/N This one is for Bad Ass Blye who thinks I have been extremely harsh towards Hetty lately. Which I have been, I will admit.**

**Disclaimer: Nothing in the bank account, so I don't own anything from NCIS LA**

I'm staring, and honestly there is no other word for it, at the sleeping occupants of the bed when I feel her behind me. Not a sound to reveal her presence, but then I have never heard her footsteps. It is simply that I hyper aware of everything around me. I won't jump out of my skin for once in my life, despite my fascination with Kensi and our daughter. I don't how many times I have counted fingers and toes, or simply stood up and touched both of them just to make sure I am not dreaming.

"Congratulations to you both, Mr. Deeks."

"Thank you Hetty. Should have been here about two hours ago, Kensi was awake."

"Well, no need to wake her; I am sure she is tired." A deep breath came from behind as I hadn't turned towards my boss. "You know despite the name change, she always be Ms. Blye to me. But I have to say I always foresaw that day fourteen months ago when you two finally said I do from the moment I partnered you two together."

"Did you now?"

"Mr. Deeks, Martin." That made me spin in the chair around towards Hetty. I could not remember Hetty ever calling me by my first name. "I have made it my life's work to study people. You both needed something the other could give. I wasn't entirely sure that you two would end up married, but I was positive that you two would become partners in every sense of life, not just on the job."

"Oh really?" I had learned from previous discussions not to say too much when talking with Hetty. She had the tendency of turning the directions of your words into areas you never thought possible or wanted to go.

"She needed to learn that there was someone who out there who would never leave her, and do whatever it takes to get back to her. She needed to learn that trust was not a bad thing. Just as you needed someone to see and believe in the man you are, not the mask you hide behind or the monster you think you are." Well that much was true, she was broken when I met her, not that I was much better and I really questioned myself after Sidirov and Afghanistan. "You both have improved the other. Kensi is no longer the serious danger seeking individual that she once was. Just as you no longer play the fool as much as you once did."

"Sometimes you sure had a….. an unique way of showing it." Making Kensi leave me in that damn chair, and then sending her off to Afghanistan was not how I would have shown support for a couple I was fond of. Nor was playing mind games with us by the means of a burned agent who was way off the deep end. The hurt and betrayal was still there, what that picture did to me still haunts my dreams.

"Yes sometimes my decisions were flawed Mr. Deeks. I have never claimed to be perfect. I sent Kensi over to Afghanistan not only to help a friend, but so that she was able to find closure. Do you honestly believe had simply showed Kensi the information I had she would have accepted it?" Well she had a point there. Kensi had allowed herself to be captured by the Taliban after seeing her ex-fiance through her rifle scope. "I under estimated her decision making on that part. Just as I never intended for you to lose yourself over in Afghanistan. I am truly sorry for some of the consequences that have occurred." Henrietta Lange of such strong will, that to see this side of her was shocking. For once I felt she wasn't trying to manipulate me, but she was genuinely sorry for the darkness she had brought into our life.

"Hetty, if you had never insisted I accept the liaison position, I would never had the chance to become truly happy for the first time in my life. I have something I never thought possible. A family. A chance to be a father. So thank you, and apology accepted." It wasn't the cure all for the resent I felt for the woman who was once my surrogate mother, but the sore had been opened and the healing could begin.

**Not sure about this one. But for some reason it just doesn't want to go anywhere else.**

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	13. Chapter 13 Territory

**A/N Pure speculation based off of the "New" Kensi and what we know about Episode 5x24 "Deep Trouble Pt. 1" the season finale**

**Disclaimer: Nothing in the bank account, so I don't own anything from NCIS LA**

It's absolutely amazing how one can gain insights into another's mind. For instance I had a pretty good idea what was going through Kensi's thoughts almost a year ago when I kissed her on that hillside. Absolutely nothing, because that was what was running through my mind. One minute I am trying to diffuse the common room in the boathouse from turning into a catfight brawl between Kensi and Talia Del Campo. "Kensi, we weren't partners. We just teamed up for the mission and nothing mmmmphphmhm." Whatever else I was going to say was completely wiped away from my brain, as Kens strode over and locked lips with me. Oxygen, who needs oxygen? Not me that's for sure. Comfort, serenity, belief, and a love I never knew could exist poured through the kiss Kensi was giving me. How long we stood there I had no idea, but this moment was the second best moment of my life since I had met Kensi. Not even surfing could compare to this.

Kens broke off and stepped back. I wasn't even sure where we're at, or what the others were doing. "Deeks…. Deeks…. Hello Deeks?" She waved her hand in front of my eyes. All I can do is taste her lips, and feel Kensi in my arms.

"Well Kensi, that's one way of shutting him up." Callen snickered. "I wouldn't have tried it myself, but if it works who am I to question you?"

As my senses came back, I could feel the heat in my cheeks. I also noticed Granger standing with a smirk on his face while Hetty was looking flat out pissed off. Sam was inspecting something under the table, and Talia was standing with her mouth open looking like a fish out of water. Poor Eric was probably sanitizing his computers as we speak and Nell was most likely dancing a jig in Ops.

"Wow. That…. That just happened." I breathed for what felt like the first time. "Not that I am complaining, never that, but what…. what exactly brought this on?"

"I just wanted to remind you of our thing." There was no way she could ever claim to not be jealous with the glare those mismatched eyes sent towards the lone DEA agent in the room. "And to remind you what waits for you when you come back from being Max Gentry."

"Easy tiger. As I was saying before I was interrupted, though if you want to do it again I still wouldn't consider it rude, nothing happened." It was true. Had things been different or earlier in our partnership, Talia wouldn't have stood a chance against the Deeks charming good looks. But now I only had eyes for one person, even if I didn't deserve her. "And don't you mean remind everyone of our thing?" I leaned forward to whisper in Kens' ear so that only she could hear "And you are the only thing that allows me to lock Max away." I thoroughly enjoyed the shiver my breath against her skin caused.

"Ahem. If you two are done acting like hormonal teenagers, perhaps we can get back to the briefing?" Hetty's voice was harsh with annoyance. Granger had gone from a smirk to looking like he was going to burst out laughing. "Oh bugger."

"It's your own fault Henrietta. Every time these two try and figure it out on their own, you have to step in and play couples counselor. You might want to rethink that dream of yours." I have never seen Granger even show a semblance of humor. "It keeps backfiring on you. You should have learned by now."

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	14. Chapter 14 Observation

**A/N For Bamie02 who is awesome on a level words cannot begin to express, who lets me know when something isn't right, and hasn't hurt me yet for all the teasers I drop on her.**

**Disclaimer: Nothing in the bank account, so I don't own anything from NCIS LA**

"Kens, Fern, Princess, Kensilina, Kensi!" Hope looked up from where she and I were coloring together with a look of unsurprised annoyance. I smiled down apologetically at her, while working hard at not letting my exasperation at her father show through. We both knew what had happened and why Deeks was calling me. I love the man on a level that is utterly terrifying and fulfilling in a way I never knew existed, but if this was one of his stupid jokes about mixing up the twins again, I was going to punch him at the very least. Hope had been feeling a little neglected since Samantha and Michelle had come home, and today was supposed to be just a day for Hope and me. She made a sad little shooing motion with her hand, and I leaned down to kiss her forehead. With a promise to be right back, I stood up, and headed upstairs to the room that was the nursery.

However as soon as I entered, the look on his face told me this was no joke. We can read each other like a book, which is good because even after almost six years of marriage and three kids, our communication skills still have a tendency to suck big time. "Help please." Deeks was begging, looking absolutely forlorn. I knew what he was thinking, and I instantly wanted to go back in time and beat the crap out of one Gordon John Brandel. I should be used to his moments of doubt when it comes to his abilities of a father but after five years it was starting to make me mad. Then doubt and horror crept into my mind as I realized I couldn't tell the two of them apart either. I knew it, I sucked as a mother. What kind of a mother can't even tell her babies apart? "What are we going to do about this?"

"I don't know." I hated that I was so unsure right now. Damn it! It shouldn't be shouldn't be so complicated. I was a trained federal investigator with a forensic background, and my husband was one of the best detectives to ever come out of the LAPD. How could we keep getting our newest children mixed up?

"I have an idea."

"We. Are. Not. Tattooing. Our. Daughters." I growled out through clenched teeth.

"Actually I was thinking of Sharpies.."

"Deeks!"

"Right shutting up now."

"Hiya Unca Eric!" Hope's cheerful voice floated up the stairwell. Great that's just icing on the cake. Here we are trying to figure out which of our kids is which, and now Eric was here. "Daddy and Mommy mixed up the babies AGAIN!" Out of the mouth of five year olds. I was going to call in sick for the next ten years just to avoid the mocking and teasing I was going to receive over this. Deeks, well this was one time I wasn't going to have Deeks' back.

I picked up the nearest twin to me and headed downstairs to see what Eric was here for. Whichever one she was, you definitely tell she was Deeks' daughter. Her eyes were still the color blue, but were much darker than either Deeks or Hope's eyes. But the dark blonde hair was definitely from Deeks. But even then it was more the laid back attitude, much like their father, that both of the twins had. While Hope had the boundless energy of Deeks, her temperament was almost an exact duplicate of mine, not to mention that outside of the blue eyes Hope could have been my twin at that age. I heard Deeks pick up Michelle or was it Samantha and follow me downstairs.

"Hey Guys was just needing to drop off some files for you two to go over for next week. Are you being a good girl for your Mommy and Daddy Michelle?" He cooed at the three month old in my arms. I have been on undercover missions for a long time, and have trained myself to control my facial expressions, but I knew my mouth was hanging open.

"Are you sure that is Michelle, Eric?" Despite the pleading evident in his voice, Deeks was extremely optimistic that somebody could correctly tell the twins apart. "Because I don't sure don't know who is who." Deeks had come a long way from deflecting before admitting he was wrong.

"It's easy. That's Samantha." Eric pointed at the twin being held by Deeks. "And that is Michelle." He finished with flourish towards me. For someone whose social skills makes Deeks look high society, Eric was being awfully smug.

"Ok Spenser Tracy, how can you tell?" I was really glad Deeks was the one speaking, because at the moment I wanted nothing more than to punch Eric in the throat. How dare he be able to my own daughters apart when Deaks and I couldn't. He had to have invented an App for it, and I had to make him download onto my phone.

"Ummm, dude, you're the one who told me Samantha has the short middle toe on her left foot."

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	15. Chapter 15 Experiment

**A/N Trying something different here. Most of my writing has been in first person. However I really have some neat ideas for some case fanfictions (at least in my mind), and I really don't like how they flow in first person. So this is an experiment to see how well my attempt at writing third person set in the Poker Face Failure future. Please tell what you think about it. I can't get better, if don't know what's wrong.**

**Disclaimer: Nothing in the back account, therefore I don't own NCIS LA**

"I have to reiterate this, if this information gets out in the open, the US Navy operations will come to a standstill. We must retrieve this." Assistant Director Owen Granger looked more grim than usual, if that was even possible. The dour looking man's gaze swept the room, silently thanking God that Henrietta Lange had left him one the most effective tools in the NCIS arsenal. "I am calling in every favor I have and writing checks I can never cash to get as much assets in place as possible, unfortunately time is of the essence, and you are the only ones available to get to the meeting place before the buyers show. Beale has ascertained that O'Donnel's security consists of at least twenty heavily armed PMCs. In addition both the NSA and Homeland have picked up chatter that the GRU, ISI, VEVAK, and the Chinese Ministry of State Security know of the meet and are highly interested in the data." Granger took a deep breath knowing full well that it was entirely possible one or even all of these agents would not be coming home tonight. "Red team is on the way, but its ETA is still thirty eight minutes after the sale begins. I know we haven't always seen eye to eye since I came here, but I wouldn't ask this if wasn't absolutely necessary. If anyone can pull this off, it's you and your team Agent Callen. Good luck, I need to go brief SECNAV and Director Vance."

Even before the Assistant Director had left the secure room, Agent G Callen, the clean shaven man with ice blue eyes, started handing out assignments. "Kensi you're on overwatch." Kensi Blye was a tall brunette with her hair pulled back into a severe ponytail, simply nodded her head, never letting go of the hand belonging to the shaggy haired blond surfer standing next to her. "Sam, you and I will take the main building." This was directed towards Sam Hanna the massive man with tattooed forearms standing beside Callen. "All intelligence points towards O'Donnel holding the sale here." He looked over at the former LAPD detective, knowing full well how much the two junior members of his team was going to hate this next part. However since the return from Afghanistan, and the two of them actually started communicating with words, they had been nothing but completely professional. "Unfortunately Deeks that means you will have to clear this building on the left by yourself." Callen tried to ignore the look the woman he considered his little sister was sending him. "Are you up for it?"

Martin Deeks simply looked at his partner, both on the job and at home, and once again Callen found himself envious of their ability to simply communicate with out words. It was something that he and Sam, even though they had been partners almost three years longer than Deeks and Kensi had been, never had developed to that level. "Yeah, I can do it. What's the worst that can be in there, a clown with colitis?" Trust Deeks to try and lighten the mood, as the most laid back member of the team sent a lazy grin towards the retired Navy SEAL. Sam grimaced, but nodded back towards Deeks, knowing full well that the man had just accepted the most dangerous part of the mission by himself. Anybody in the room could tell that his wife Kensi was not happy, and Callen refused to let the thoughts of how devastated she would be if anything should happen to her partner come out to play.

"I can back him up." Every head in the OPs center turned towards the tiny intelligence analyst in shock. Nell Jones had done field operations numerous times, usually with Deeks as her partner. "I can do it."

"Nell…." Kensi's voice trailed off.

"Please Kensi, trust me. I. Will. Have. His. Back." There was a fire in the pixie like redhead's eyes. "He needs someone there, and you can't do it."

Callen had to admit he was impressed, but Nell needed to know what she volunteering for. "Nell, I know you have been training with us in CQB, but this might not be the right time for you to step up this way."

"And when would be the right time for me to step up Callen? After Kensi is a widow and Hope has to grow up without a father?" The gasp that escaped Kensi' lips was the closest he had seen her come to losing it since Afghanistan.

"Ok, but it's not your call, or even mine." Callen looked over at the man that once upon time he had questioned brought what exactly to the team, but now Callen considered Deeks to be a younger brother. "Ok by you Deeks?"

"Are you sure Velma?" Deeks had the habit of nicknaming everyone, except Sam now that Callen thought about it. It was really odd how little things pop into the mind during times like these. "It's not the first time I have done something like this alone."

"I am positive. Trust me."

"I do. Let's do it."

**Please tell me what you think even if you think it sucks. Constructive criticism is very helpful. So thanks for reading and please leave a review.**


	16. Chapter 16 It's Not A Three Day Weekend

**A/N It's not just a three day weekend or a day at the beach. A Memorial Day tribute. "A greater love hath no man than to lay down his life for his brother."**

**Disclaimer: Nothing in the bank account, so I don't own anything from NCIS LA**

"Hi Dad. Sorry it's been a while" The brunette with mismatched eyes stopped in front of the white sandstone marker that she knew so well. "The last year it's been hectic. This time last year we had some psycho get his hands on old Soviet nukes and was trying to sell them. And then last November I was sent to Afghanistan, so I couldn't come by and talk."

A gentle breeze moved her long wavy hair as she paused to take a breath and to try and still the raging thoughts through her mind. "So much has changed Dad. So much. Where to begin? You remember Deeks, Dad? You never met him, but I told you about him. God how I wish you could. Meet him that is. I know you would see him as I see him. That guy with the nukes Dad, he got his hands on Deeks and did some really horrible things to him. I was so scared Dad." Her eyes were glistening with unshed tears. "How I wish you were here, just to talk to, just to hear your words of comfort, to get your thoughts on what was going down. Maybe things would have been different if you were here, I don't know."

She knelt down in the grass, before the marker. "I am married now Dad. Deeks and I got married after we both realized what we meant to each other. Everybody else seem to know about it before we did, so I am sure you knew it too. I've been told you would have approved of him. I wish you were here that day. But it didn't feel right having anyone else give me away, so we just eloped. Then I got sent to Afghanistan and things got really screwed up. I did some things I'm not proud of Dad. But when I was there I finally understood what you meant by wherever you are. Things are getting better now Dad." She rested her hands on her extended stomach." You're going to be a Grandpa. They will never get to meet you, but they will know you Dad. I hope you I've made you proud." Tears were flowing freely now down her cheeks as the tall blonde man walked up behind her, and gently drew the weeping woman into his arms.

"He is proud of you Kensi. He watching right now and smiling down." He placed a gentle kiss upon the top of her head. "Well definitely smiling at you, me he's probably frowning at for getting his little girl pregnant." A weird snort somewhere between a sob and a laugh was his reward.

"Thank You Deeks for being here, and for being you today."

"It's not a three day weekend or a day at the beach, Princess. No place I'd rather be."

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	17. Chapter 17 Territory Take Two

**A/N Something I needed to write with all various takes on Talia and Kensi fighting over Deeks that keep appearing. Enjoy it.**

**Disclaimer: Nothing in the bank account, so I don't own anything from NCIS LA**

"Well this is utterly a waste of our time." I really was trying to keep the sigh in, but somehow it just slipped out. I was bored, and even though we had slipped up a few times I knew what Kensi would say if I suggested another way to pass the time on this stake out. I couldn't even bribe her with the emergency stash of Twinkies because I knew what would happen in another four hours if nothing continued to happen.

"I am trying to sleep over here you know." My partner voice was harsh to anybody who didn't know her. "And thank you for the offer, but if you would just shut up I wouldn't need help falling asleep."

"I wasn't thinking anything." Kens' response was that of a raised eyebrow. Our ability to read each other's mind left me feeling busted. Luckily I was saved by the ringing of my phone. I flipped it to speaker knowing it was OPs calling just by the ringtone. "Go for Captain Bored out of his mind." Kensi rolled her eyes in exasperation, but the cornerstone of our relationship was me annoying her.

"Mr. Deeks, Ms. Blye. I need you to go and meet Mr. Callen and Mr. Hanna at the boatshed." Lately I have begun to seriously question Hetty's decisions. For the longest time she had pushed the two of us together and then recently seemed to be doing everything possible to drive us apart. For some reason a hollow feeling settled into the pit of my stomach. "They have found an old friend who has some information." At Kensi's questioning look, I just shrugged my shoulders.

"What about Johanssen? Is somebody going to be watching him?" The target of this particular surveillance was doing anything at the moment, but who's to say if that was going to continue.

"The new information will show that Johanssen is no longer a primary concern." The other end of the line clicked dead as Hetty left us with her typical cryptic words.

*******NCIS LA*******

Sam and Callen both had smirks on their faces that instantly put me on my toes. I still wasn't sure who this old friend was, but knowing how convoluted Hetty's mind was, it wouldn't surprise me to see either Sabatino or Paul Angelo walk through the door. However who it was infinitely worse; in fact the only possible way for to be worse was if Jack Simon showed up from Afghanistan.

"Hey partner, been a long time since we hooked up." DEA agent Talia Del Campo strode into the common room of the boathouse. Kensi's gaze was flipping between boring holes in me and Talia while the two senior agents of our team were barely able to keep the cat eating the cream grins off of their faces. I was so glad somebody was going to enjoy this, because I had a feeling I was about to become two people's personal punching bag.

Might as well try and minimize the damage to my shoulders and chest. "Talia Del Campo DEA, Special Agent Kensi Blye-Deeks my wife." I couldn't see the look on Sam or Callen's faces but the view of Kensi's showed me the war that was going on in her head as she realized I let the cat out of the bag. One hand she was pleased that I had stood up and set the record straight right off the bat, on the other hand this wasn't exactly how we were going to tell the team.

Talia just sauntered up and hit me full power right in the chest. I held my hand up to Kens to keep her from ripping Talia's head off right there. "That's for not telling me your partner was smoking hot." Another shot came flying in, but I managed to deflect the blow. "Why you didn't tell me you were married?"

"First of all we weren't married at the time, and second of all it was none of your business." If I didn't do something to calm the situation down, blood was going to spill and I had a sinking feeling it was going to be mine. "What difference does it make?"

Talia moved to punch me again when Kensi stepped in front of her. "And I'm carrying our child as well, so back off bitch."

"Exactly, …. um what did you just say?" Now I wasn't sure who was more surprised, Talia for going after a taken man, Sam and Callen who I knew had to be coming close to having a stroke at the thought of me touching their little sister that way, or me because that I was the first I heard of it.

"Not exactly how I wanted to break the news to you." Kensi grinned sheepishly in my direction. "But yeah I'm pregnant."

I so wanted to grab her and spin her around, but there wasn't a lot of room where we were standing, so I just settled for kissing Kens. I aimed at making her toes curl and to leave her breathless. I succeeded.

The cracking of knuckles behind me brought me back to reality. "You two have some explaining to do." I couldn't quite make what Callen's voice was trying to convey, so we both turned towards the men I considered my older brothers, the case and Talia both forgotten.

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	18. Chapter 18 Necessary

**A/N Consider this a continuation of Chapter 5. **

**Disclaimer: Nothing in the bank account, so I don't own anything from NCIS LA**

He has done these types of assignments before and never before did they bother him. His being a product of thirty seven different foster homes has led him to the lone wolf attitude that serves him so well when it comes to this work. The lack of roots has always been an asset when this particular call was necessary. But for some reason the cost seems so much greater this time around.

The day was clear and bright, the trail was getting cold and yet he couldn't tear his eyes away from the somber little group gathered at the casket. Ten people who meant more to him than anything he could put a name to. There were sights he never thought he would see. The grey haired stoic example of a Marine Scout/Sniper turned NCIS Special Agent flew out from DC for this day. He didn't know what Gibbs was thinking, you could never tell just from the man's expression, but it was obvious sorrow racked his body. Nate the roving psychologist having been allowed to return for this miserable event was standing next to Eric, the once normal awkwardness having returned in full strength. The Tech Specialist actually wearing a suit instead of the board shorts that he was known for. For once Eric was projecting or at least trying to, strength and comfort, though sadness lingered behind those glasses.

His gaze swept over the woman he considered his little sister and her husband. It was almost as if he was meeting Kensi again for the first time. The ultra-serious and uptight persona was back in full force, while Deeks was well groomed. The man who first rubbed him raw, yet grew on him like moss, quietly held their little girl while lending his strength to his wife who refused to do no more than silently weep. It bespoke of the situation in harsh terms that not even Deeks was cracking jokes in an attempt to make Kensi smile. The look on their faces was as low as he had ever seen it.

At the sight of his partner dressed in the Navy Dress Blues of a Senior Chief Petty Officer his gaze couldn't help but linger. The ribbons and medals adorning the massive chest of the retired Navy SEAL sparkled and shined in the light of day, but did nothing to lighten the mood. Sam's face was contorted with grief as unshed tears glistened in his eyes. Michelle and Rachel stood next to Sam obviously weeping for the loss of a brother-in-law and an uncle who was closer than blood could ever be. He wishes he was able to cross over the threshold and comfort them, but he is a professional, that is something he cannot do.

"It is necessary, Mr. Callen." A quick glance at his companion sitting in the passenger seat of the car that was as nondescript as anything they had to work with. "In fact had not Mr. and Mrs. Deeks refused to help me, this wouldn't be necessary." The words are spoken without emotion, though it's possible his imagination hears something like spite in the last part. He has always trusted the little woman, who was a living legend throughout the world of spies, but now as his eyes are uncontrollably drawn back to the sight of the very pregnant petite redhead collapsing against the casket, openly sobbing, he can't help the questions forming in his mind.

He puts the car in drive and pulls away as Eric and Kensi move forward to console Nell. He doesn't see Sam stop the two of them and steps up to speak with the mother of his unborn child. But he does wonder if the definitions of necessary that he and Hetty both have are even close to being the same.

**Thanks For Reading. Another Attempt at writing in Third Person as well as writing in Callen's POV. Please Leave a Review and let me know how I did.**


	19. Chapter 19 Seperated

**A/N An attempt at a Song fic. **

**Disclaimer: Nothing in the back account, therefore I don't own it**

_**Come Home Soon by SheDaisy**_

_**I put away the groceries  
And I take my daily bread  
I dream of your arms around me  
As I tuck the kids in bed**_

**BEEP**. "This is Kensi. Leave a message."

"Hi Mommy. Daddy said we could call you before bed. We're being good for Daddy we promise. We love you. When are you going to be home?" The mixture of a young girl and her even younger brother's voices came through the voicemail, only to be interrupted by the voice of their father.

"All right munchkins, time for bed, say bye to Mommy and give me the phone."

"Bye Mommy, we love you."

"Hey beautiful. Sorry about that. They just needed to hear your voice even if it was just a recording. I know how they feel. I love you Kens, stay safe and come home soon."

_**I don't know what you're doing  
And I don't know where you are  
But I look up at that great big sky  
And I hope you're wishing on that same bright star**_

The night was especially quiet for some reason as the tall blonde man lay in the hammock of the house's back yard. Kensi and he had bought this house not only because of its closeness to the beach, but also because the lights of the city were much dimmer out here. The stars shined in the sky along with moon, as he continually glanced at the sat phone lying beside him.

Yet no matter how much he willed it, the phone would not give the welcome ringing he so desperately sought. With a heavy sigh, he stood up and turned to walk back into the house, only to be come face to face with two pajama covered children. Without a word their father scooped both up into his arms and laid back in the hammock. Quiet murmurs came from the trio as the father pointed out various stars in the night sky.

The night sky was so different here. No familiar stars hung in the sky. A minute thing it would seem, but it just added to the feeling of loneliness that she carried with her every day. Unlike the last time she had been reassigned without her team, she at least knew what was going on this time and she had all the intelligence and support the brunette had ever needed or wanted for that matter. But still, she wasn't with her husband and their children, she needed to come home soon.

_**I wonder, I pray**_

_**And I sleep alone  
I cry alone  
And it's so hard living here on my own  
So please, come home soon, come home soon**_

Even repeated punching of the pillows couldn't make the bed more comfortable. The coolness of the right side, no starfish draped over his body, no cute little piglet snores made for a very restless doze. He was a like a junkie going through withdrawals. His prayer went up on silent thoughts as he stood and moved to the couch "_Please, please let her come home soon."_

_**I know that we're together  
Even though we're far apart  
And I'll wear our lucky penny 'round my neck  
Pressed to my heart**_

"You got this Deeks?" The big retired Navy SEAL had concern in his eyes as he watched the younger man finishing strapping on his tactical gear. "You can sit this one out if you need to."

"Naw I am good." Deeks was a master a hiding his emotions despite the fears and thoughts of what would happen to his children if something went wrong today while Kensi was still assigned overseas. "Besides Kens would kick my ass if something happened to you two if I wasn't there to back you up."

Sam reached over, and checked Deeks gear, before laying a hand on his shoulder. "Kens will come home soon, you know it."

Litlle did he know as he followed Sam and Callen out the door for a raid, that at that very moment Kensi was setting up on a hillside to provide overwatch for the taskforce she had been assigned to. Even thousands of miles apart and completely different time zones, both took comfort from the rings worn around their necks.

_**And I wonder, I pray**_

_**I sleep alone  
I cry alone  
And it's so hard living here on my own  
So please, come home soon**_

It was enough to make him want to pull his hair out. Facing down very bad people armed with guns and bombs? Not a problem. Dealing those who would willing gut him like a fish for an ounce of crack? Please he could do that in his sleep. Assuming the role of the gay manager to his wife's role of lingerie model? Well that was a problem of another sort, but easily dealt with after the operation was done. But dealing with his children's meltdowns from missing their mother? He wasn't cut out from that particular cloth, especially when he felt guilty for thinking he missed her more than their children. He couldn't wait for her to come home soon.

_**I still imagine your touch  
It's beautiful missing something that much  
But sometimes love needs a fighting chance  
So I'll wait my turn until it's our turn to dance**_

A sheen of sweat covers her body as she awakes with a gasp. Her body is responding to the dream. It seems like an eternity since he has done this to her. It started simple, the memories of the two of them learning the waltz under Hetty's guidance in the gym at the Mission. But it had soon turned heated as everyone else disappeared it was only the two of them, the heat for each other resonating through the touches and holding of each other. With a grunt of annoyance, she attempts to fall back asleep, but before long the fantasies take over and she finds herself in the shower attempting to find some or any sort of relief.

A frustrated groan cuts the air as blue eyes blink awake. The uncomfortable pressure in his shorts tells him all he needs to know. He is quickly in the shower, cold water on full blast, and baseball statistics running through his head. He knows that soon little feet will be coming down the hallway, and those questions that will be asked are better left for another day when they are older. Much older if he has anything to say about it. All he knows is that taking matters into hand won't be necessary when she comes home soon.

_**I wonder, I pray**_

_**I sleep alone  
I cry alone  
Without you this house is not a home  
So please, come home soon**_

_**I walk alone  
I try alone  
And I'll wait for you, don't want to die alone  
So please, come home soon**_

_**Come home soon  
Please come home soon**_

The giggling and shouting coming from the car that just pulled up was a stark contrast to the somber group that left this morning.

"Can we have ice cream Dad?" The miniature brunette version of her mother went with full on puppy dog pout at her father, while her younger brother just jumped up and down enthusiastically.

"No, you may not. We just had it on the drive home." Deeks smiled down at his children, as he turned the key in the door. "You need to eat a good supper before any…" His voice trailed off as the vision of his wife standing in the living room of their house assaulted his senses.

"MOMMY!" The shrieks of joy couldn't be contained as their children dropped everything and rushed towards Kensi.

"Kensi…. Fern is it really you?" He hates how unsure he sounds, but lately he can't be sure if he is dreaming again. They have been so vivid.

Disentangling herself from the hugs she was receiving, Kensi stood and walks up to him, unshed tears glistening in those mismatched eyes that had fascinated him since day one. "Yeah, Shaggy, I came home as soon as I could." The taste of her lips rocked him to the core.

"Ewwww. Mommy, Daddy no kissing."

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	20. Chapter 20 Changing One's Mind

**Disclaimer: Nothing in the back account, therefore I don't own it**

First it was Callen, and then it was Deeks. Renko followed after, and then last year it was both Deeks and Sam. Now she was again waiting for word on Callen. Make no mistake about it Kensi hated hospital waiting rooms, and actually hospitals in general. There was never a good reason for one to visit. A small voice, which had been growing louder over the last three years in the back of her mind whispered of how untrue that was. It would be a joyous time as Deeks wheeled her out of the hospital, both of them struck by the bundle of joy carried so gently in her arms. Kensi clamped down on that particular fantasy with a visible effort, she couldn't think about Deeks that way. Yet the small voice would not be stilled with a question of why not.

The waiting room was quiet, but for the background noises of hospitals that all had heard before. Sam wasn't speaking and was currently looking like he wanted to punch the wall very hard. At least he had cleaned himself up some, even if the ex-Navy SEAL hadn't changed his blood splattered clothes, despite Nell bringing a change of clothes for both Sam and Kensi. He had almost refused treatment for his own injuries when they arrived, but somehow Deeks had managed to convince him to at least be looked at. Kensi hadn't quite caught what it was the scruffy looking surfer had said, his back was turned towards her when speaking, but it had worked. Whatever the two men had gone through over the last year had obviously changed both.

Her gaze was drawn without control over to Deeks as he leaned against the wall, staying close to Sam, but also near her if she needed. The harsh, yet muted voice from Granger's direction made her turn her head in his direction. He had been on the phone since he had arrived. What little Kensi and Deeks had been able to get out of Nell before she had to return to the Mission was that Granger had been dealing with a lot of ticked off people. She wasn't sure how he was explaining why an NCIS agent and a LAPD detective had seen fit to steal the Channel 5 news chopper for a rescue of two other NCIS agents. But honestly what other choice did they have? Granger didn't have the pull that Hetty did when it came to supporting their team, and no one knew where Hetty was at the moment. Well, Granger knew, but he wasn't talking. But no doubt was in Kensi's head that there would be serious ramifications for her and her partner's actions today.

Kensi shook her head, amazed that after all this time Deeks was still able to surprise her. Not his caring side, never that, but what he as capable of. Until today she never knew he could pilot a helicopter. And it wasn't like he was a beginner at it, either. Memories of how calm he was as he held the aircraft in a hover over the deck of a sinking submarine, while taking fire from the terrorists on board came flooding back. Kensi was shocked at how steady the helicopter was as she provided cover for themselves and Sam as he carried Callen to the rescue. Then while Kensi and Sam desperately worked to stop Callen from bleeding out, Deeks sent the helicopter screaming directly to Pacific Heights Medical. His actions darn near got him arrested. Only Kensi playing the federal agency card and the medical attention that Callen required kept Deeks from spending some time in county as he would put it. Bates had already reamed him while informing Deeks that he was suspended. She knew that Deeks had done this without questioning the consequences because of who he was. But not so deep down anymore was the lingering thoughts how much of it was because of her? He knew how she would be if Kensi hadn't done everything to rescue Callen and Sam. A conversation from just outside the boatshed before they had tried to talk about their thing came flashing back in painful brilliance. My God had she just let him get burned because of her?

Their thing. No, it wasn't just a thing anymore. It taken the last year for Kensi to realize just how important this man was to her. And what she meant to him. When his brain wouldn't let him sleep after what happened, after she left him in the damn chair, and still he managed to get up there on that helipad and save not only her, but Sam and Michelle, Kensi's presence was all that was needed to calm and soothe his fevered soul. She wasn't at all sure what happened when the team came to recuse her because of her own stupidity in Afghanistan, but she knew Deeks saved them all. At what cost to himself she didn't know, she wasn't even sure what he did to save them, Callen and Sam said it wasn't their story to tell, but both insisted that without Deeks none of them would have walked out of there alive.

And while she was over there, in the darkest moments of despair she finally understood what Deeks had tried to tell her in the bullpen that night. Deeks was what kept her going. Why couldn't she just admit that she hopelessy in love with Deeks? Because it could ruin what they already have. Kensi was seriously beginning to question whether just being partners at NCIS was worth it. The night they had spent in each other's arms was something she never imagined could exist. Not even with Jack had it been that good, that heavenly. Here was a man who was everything she had ever dreamed of, and she couldn't do anything about because of the job. Even in the midst of the chaos when Deeks had first landed the helicopter, his thought was for her as the hospital staff wheeled Callen in. She hadn't quite broke down in his arms like she did the first time she saw him in over five months, but it was close.

Even if it cost them their jobs, she realized she had to have him in her life no matter. And today it was just hammered it home. If Kensi lost Deeks, there would be no way she could continue on. So what if it cost her position at NCIS, what was life without Deeks? Kensi steeled her nerves and moved towards her partner. Her partner, yes but she wanted Deeks as her partner throughout the rest of their lives. Not only on the clock, but at home, in bed, everything. Deeks' eyebrows lifted up, and he smiled that lopsided grin of his as Kensi got closer.

Shock was clearly written on his face as she reached out her hand and gently caressed his cheek. Kensi Blye was not known for public displays of affection. But she knew what she was going to do next would astonish everyone that knew her. Her other hand moved up and yanked his head down meeting his lips with hers. Somewhere in the background she heard a phone hit the floor and a startled exclamation. Kensi poured everything she felt into the kiss. It took a moment, but then he responded and for the first time they were really kissing. She didn't care what the others thought; Kensi needed Deeks to know where she stood. No metaphors about frozen lakes, boxes or raccoons mating for life. As the need for oxygen forced them apart, Kensi couldn't help but giggle at the look of utter enjoyment and bewilderment upon Deeks' face.

"Wow…. Um Ok that just happened." He shook his head as if to clear the cobwebs in his mind. "Not that I'm complaining….. Oh wow….. never that…. Wow…. But what just happened?" His arms moved as to wrap themselves around her, but they were hesitant as he needed Kensi's permission.

"How's that for communication?" She took an insurmountable amount of pleasure at throwing his words back at him.

"Are you serious?" The look in his eyes was guarded.

"I want you. Even if I have to resign. I. Want. You."

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	21. Chapter 21 Twist

**A/n Just trying to clear my head of all these little ideas that keep popping up so I can concentrate on "**_**Poker Face Failure"**_** and finish it, and the others in that future.**

**Disclaimer: Nothing in the back account, therefore I don't own it**

Her breath came in gasps as she ran after G and Sam. She was always more of sprinter than long distance, and so she was losing ground behind them. In her mind the fact that Kensi wore a tactical vest was carrying a tricked out M4 while those two were in plainclothes wasn't an excuse, it simply was what it was. Her job now, and had been for the past two years was to provide overwatch for the two senior agents when they went in undercover. Today's meet was with a ghost. A suspected assassin and thief who was in town for some intel from a Navy thinktank. The team had crossed paths with the guy three times in the past, yet didn't even know what he looked like, it was even worse than dealing with Janvier the Chamleon, and had gotten spooked during the meet and took off running. From their voices Kensi knew something wasn't right on Callen and Sam's end either. Her mind flashed back to the briefing earlier. Hetty and Granger had both cautioned the team to be careful as if they knew something the others didn't. Just another day on the job. She wasn't about to let this guy go and have to deal with him a fifth time.

Kensi rounded the corner that her fellow teammates had turned just seconds before to watch the suspect take out both Sam and Callen. Whatever move he used; and Kensi thought she recognized Sayoc, Tai Chi and possibly Krav Maga; had left Sam laying on the ground whooping for breath and then the suspect pulled off a move she thought was physically impossible. With some kind of a backflip, Callen was now held in a chokehold with his own pistol being screwed into his ear canal by the suspect. The M4 snapped out, straight and steady as Kensi yelled trying to still her heavy breathing. "Federal Agents! Let him go."

Shock hammered into her system. It wasn't the suspect's moves or actions that surprised her; it was that she knew who he was. It had been three years and he is clean shaven and completely bald, but his eyes, those eyes that she had never ever been able to forget. The very eyes that had haunted her dreams every night for the last three years. The very eyes that she saw every morning when their daughter first woke up with a grin so much like her father's. The eyes that belonged to her partner, the father of her child, the man who was the most important man in the world to her, the man who had been missing for the last three years and she had never been able to find anything about what had happened.

The M4's front sight started to slip as she hated herself for how unsure she sounded. "Deeks…. "

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